Intelligente vragen over Australië

Onderstaande tekst komt uit een doorgestuurd mailtje.

These were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the 
answers are the actual responses by the website officials.

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 Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia ? I have 
never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants 
grow? (UK).                                        

 A:We import all plants fully grown and then just sit 
around watching them die.
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 Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)                  

 A:Depends how much you've been drinking..
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 Q:I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the 
railroad tracks? (Sweden)                                                                  

 A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water.
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 Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia ? Can 
you send me a list of them in Brisbane , Cairns , Townsville 
and Hervey Bay ? ( UK)      

 A: What did your last slave die of?
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 Q:Can you give me some information about hippo racing in 
Australia ? (USA)                                                                          

 A: A-Fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of 
Europe. Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the 
Pacific which does not .... Oh forget it. Sure, the hippo 
racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked.
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 Q: Which direction is North in Australia ? (USA )                           

 A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us 
when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.
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 Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia ? ( UK )
 A:Why? Just use your fingers like we do...
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 Q:Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)                  

 A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering 
Ger-man-y, which is... Oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna 
Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, 
straight after the hippo races. Come naked.
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 Q:  Can I wear high heels in Australia ? ( UK)
 A: You are a British politician, right?
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 Q:Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available 
all year round? (Germany)                                                                   

 A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan 
hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal.
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 Q:Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can 
dispense rattlesnake serum. ( USA)                                                  

 A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU 
come from. All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, 
can be safely handled and make good pets.
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 Q:I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, 
but I forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in 
trees. ( USA)                       

 A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because 
they drop out of Gum trees and eat the brains of anyone 
walking underneath them. You can scare them off by 
spraying yourself with human urine before you go
 out walking.
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 Q:I have developed a new product that is the fountain of 
youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia ? (USA)                         

 A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
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 Q:Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia ? ( France)                      

 A: Only at Christmas.
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 Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? ( USA)                

 A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first